Hello Good People,
The 23rd song of the Plant Songs Project is called Love For Lovebug.
This song is one I’ve been waiting for. I was waiting for one of them to be about our daughter Miya. One might think, “What’s the waiting for? Just write one for Miya already.” Well, I don’t feel like I’m very much in control of it you see. I think of myself as more of a means for what’s there in the ether to be birthed into a piece of music. The ideas are floating around and if I happen to be in the right place at the right time and I’m open, then I can catch the idea and go from there. So I’d been thinking for awhile that I want to express my love for Miya through a song, but I had to wait for the right idea to come.
This idea came last Friday night, after I had finished teaching lessons, after having chaperoned Miya’s kindergarten class on a trip to the aquarium in Norwalk, CT that day; not a time when I would expect to be in an open state to catch an idea. That’s the thing, you never know when they’ll show up - all one can do is be ready and be open, and then be willing to work when it shows up. I started improvising, and the idea of the this little three-note trill motif which is heard through out the piece just caught a hold of me. And I knew I was onto something because it wouldn’t let go. Little by little the form of the song began to take shape. Then after maybe 20 minutes of working, I suddenly realized this was the song for Miya, and I just burst into tears at that moment. It was a beautiful moment. I was full of gratitude that this song had finally come. I had a little cry, and continued on working, and pretty much finished it in that sitting. Afterward I went into the house and went about my usual evening stuff, cleaning up the kitchen and preparing food for the next day. Normally during those activities I like to listen to music, or watch some YouTube. But that night I did it all in silence, my heart filled by the experience I had had a little earlier out in the studio. I held back more tears as I told my wife Akiko that a song for Miya had come and that I had been waiting for it for so long.
For me, music has the ability to express emotions that are too big for words. Saying “I love you”, giving hugs, and looking after her isn’t enough to express my love for Miya. I’m so thankful to know that love. And the interesting thing is that I think the experience of this song is primarily for me. It’s for you too and obviously it’s for Miya. But I can’t say if it will be effective in communicating anything to anyone. I would like if you felt something when you heard this song, but it might not do anything for you. If it doesn’t, I’m okay with that because birthing this song was a huge moment for me, one I will not forget, and that’s enough. That alone was worth it. The deepest emotions around the love of my daughter were expressed as this song was written. Perhaps I will listen to it after some time and feel those emotions again as poignant as I did last Friday evening, but maybe not. And again, I’m just thankful to have experienced this. What a gift.
Experiences like this have come about over the years. They are variable in strength; big waves, small waves, and medium waves. Sometimes these great moments happen in concert in front of an audience, and that’s a wonderful feeling. But the most memorable of these moments for me are when I’ve been alone at the piano. All of the songs in the Plant Songs project have been special moments, some stronger than others. Love For Lovebug feels like the strongest one to come about in a while. I teach a lot of piano lessons. If just one of my students is able to someday have an experience like this - an experience of say a washing of the soul via music-making, then it will all have been worth it. I’m positive that experiences like this can be had via different art forms, but probably only after years of careful devoted practice in a particular medium. Did I know about such moments when I practiced piano for endless hours for years and years? I must have known deep down, otherwise I wouldn’t have been able to do it.
I hope you enjoy Love For Lovebug. Thanks for being here.
Lovebug and I on the school bus on the way to the Aquarium, on the same day that Love for Lovebug was composed.